I think my EMDR is really helping. Today was a very good day. I got lots of things done and I didn’t let anyone’s bad mood get me down.
Now I’m negotiating with myself: “If I get up and get the last load of laundry, I can also get up and get some cocoa.”
It means a lot when people say “hello” and ask how I’m doing like I’m a regular human being. :)
I just want a place in this world.
To self: That was enough for one day. Good job! You talked to people. You smiled. You didn’t use poor boundaries. You met your needs. GOOD JOB. Next time won’t be as draining and you’ll walk away feeling even more confident because you’ll be even less hyper vigilant about what other people think. Good job! You’re making progress! Smile and love yourself.
Today I feel at peace. Like everything is working out for the best. I have no evidence for this, but I feel safe and like it’s going to be ok. Here’s hoping for more and more days where this is the case.
Today is one of those days where I’m feeling insecure that everyone I know thinks I’m crazy and thinks less of me for it. That somehow I’ve experienced a loss of status because of what I’m going through. That they don’t see me as a real human being because of my current circumstances.
I just want to send out a general message into the universe: I apologize to anyone who has felt bad/worse about her body because of the way I talked about mine.